Success Is Nothing.....Rejection Is Everything

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Everyone likes stories about sticking it to the man. Maybe that’s why this particular piece caught my eye amidst all the stuff floating around the facebook universe: http://www.theboot.com/2010/04/19/lady-antebellum-american-idol/#comments. Hillary Scott, the now famous member of country music sensations “Lady Antebellum” was rejected, in her former life, by American Idol. Twice.

She’s not the only success story with rejections in her past. There was a time when Google was unsellable. The Beatles were rejected by Decca Records before being signed. They were told they had no future in the music business. Steve Jobs got fired by the man whom he himself had hired to help him run his company. Later he returned to the company and revitalized it. Seven different publishers passed on the Harry Potter series. Apparently they couldn’t see the market for it.

It seems rejection and failure are as much a part of success as is the moment when you realize the glory of achievement. Rudyard Kipling’s famous poem, “If” contains the following lines, “If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster; And treat those two impostors just the same…Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And–which is more–you’ll be a Man, my son!” It’s a sign of maturity, and a wise strategy for life, then to assume that failure and achievement are equally meaningless, or equally meaningful as the case may be. Failure doesn’t mean that success will never happen. Success doesn’t preclude a failure around the next bend.

Most people have hopes and dreams and they are often wrapped around the idea of one particular kind of success or achievement. We talk of “making it” or “reaching our goal” or “winning the prize”. Yes, I want victories. Yes, I want to achieve very specific goals. But what do I do after that? If my life’s enjoyment is dependent on one particular success or failure then I am already failing in some way. It might be better to see the destination as the journey itself.

I hadn’t come to the above realization when I wrote the song, “close my eyes”. The song though still has elements of this idea in it: “Seems like I always get the smoothest ride when I'm not even trying; I close my eyes.” What that means, in case you want to know, is that the journey is mo-better when you’re not worried about where you’re going or how you’re getting there and you just go. If you take the time to figure out all the stops along the way, all the songs that are going to be on the radio, all the pee-breaks, all the delays, all the sights and sounds, before you ever leave then why do you need to go on that journey anyway? What makes it a journey is the fact that you don’t know the outcome.

Life is a journey and I do have some ideas about where I’d like it to go. Despite what my very own song says, I want to make it with my eyes wide open and breathe in every moment of it. But at certain times, when I catch myself fretting about the final outcome, I might just close my eyes and let myself feel the wind in my face and remember again that bouncing down the road, taking in the magic of the moment (whatever that moment might be) is probably just as awesome as the part where the car stops and I get out to take a snapshot of the world’s largest ball of yarn….. And it may just be even better.

It is said that many of the great composers conceived entire symphonies in their minds before putting pen to paper. That may be true but they still had to write each note of it out so that it could be played by musicians. The Mona Lisa would not be hanging on a wall in Paris today if Leonardo had not painted the first brush stroke. The symphonies and the painting are just trophies that commemorate the journey that created them. So go take a trip.

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Attitude is Everything

It still seems a little ridiculous to me but I’m beginning to think it’s absolutely, one hundred percent true. What I’m referring to is the idea that a person can change their own circumstances simply by changing their attitude. I feel like some sort of little league coach telling my bright eyed boys and girls that, “Attitude is Everything!”.

If you’re like me you are thinking something like this, “Attitude schmattitude. You can’t change things with your mind.” Well I’m beginning to think that you can and that you have to if you want to survive and be happy in this life.

Life is pretty random I think. It doesn’t care more for one person than another but it also doesn’t care whether one person is successful and another isn’t. Life just happens. It happens to all of us. You can’t escape it…ok, you can but it’s not recommended. So that means maybe there isn’t some driving force that’s going to lift you up and carry you on golden wings to your ultimate success. But it also means that there’s nothing stopping me or you or anyone else from doing exactly what we want to do.

You generally see what you’re looking for. If you look for hindrances you will find them. I’ve done that a lot in my life and I pre-empted a lot of failures by having a negative attitude at the outset. So why shouldn’t the opposite be true? If I look for opportunities I’ll find them. If I look for pathways or stepping stones to success I’ll find them. If my attitude at the outset is positive and hopeful I’m more likely to get that result.

A continuous positive attitude means a better chance of attaining success in the things I set out to achieve and that in turn will transform my life and my circumstances.

Below is a video and my wish for Christmas is that it will get 1 million views on YouTube. There was a time when such an audacious scheme would have entered my brain and been beaten down by 1 million negative thoughts about why that's not going to happen. You wouldn't be reading this because I never would have gotten this far. Instead I've decided to believe in the possibility and give it a try. So it's working already.

Watch this video and copy the URL to your facebook page. E-mail it to your friends and tell them to do the same.

Fearful - Defining Moments

I’m afraid of just about everything. I am the guy who never raised his hand in class. I never talked to girls who I thought were pretty. I never tried so many of the things I wanted to try. I didn’t dance because I didn’t want to look stupid. I didn’t take the game winning shot…I passed the ball to someone else. I didn’t say what was on my mind because of that little voice in me that told me I would fail. “You will look stupid.”, it said. “You will miss.”, it said. “She will think you’re a doofus.”, it said. “You will sound like an oaf.”, it said.
A habit of behavior becomes our very personality. Maybe I’m not cautious by nature. I just learned to be that way. That old familiar feeling of excitement that comes when some new opportunity presents itself is something I learned to dismiss so much so that my demeanor has been molded by it. I play it safe. I stay in the background. I’m the “strong silent type”. But really I know I’m just scared.
There is some truth in the voice. I do look insanely stupid on the dance floor. But in those moments when I did venture out and shove a sock in the throat of that voice and I did dance…I had fun. I had fun. Let me say it again. I had fun. It could be the fear itself that makes the experience all the more enjoyable.
So I wonder sometimes why I still listen to the voice. I wonder why I still accept the fear. I am convinced that successful people hear the same voice that I do but somehow they learn when to listen and when to disregard that voice. They’ve learned that sometimes failing is not so bad as it might have seemed. They’ve learned that certain, “must fail” situations turn out to be brilliant success.
In the movie, “Tin Cup”, Kevin Costner’s character talks about ‘defining moments’ explaining that at certain moments in life, either you define the moment or the moment defines you. I know that in my own life I’ve let the moment define me far too often. I’ve listened to the thundering sky and decided not to go out of my cave. I’ve heeded the call to safety. I’ve missed a lot of opportunities. I’ve missed a lot of fun.
I don’t know who said it but I am beginning to understand that famous statement, “The only thing to fear is fear itself.” Was it Churchill? It doesn’t matter. It’s true beyond belief. I hope and yes even pray that instead of listening to the voice I might start to understand that the moments when the voice is calling at its loudest and clearest are the very moments that I must act. Those are the moments that lead to greatness perhaps. At the very least I won’t spend my life sitting in the back of the class, never speaking out, only ever being noticed for the fact that I don’t say much.